


I'm Beautiful With You

by Lynn_Winchester



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Eating Disorders, F/M, Fluff, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-18
Updated: 2015-09-18
Packaged: 2018-04-21 08:30:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4822271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lynn_Winchester/pseuds/Lynn_Winchester
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This was a request given to me by Kelly Winchester! Thank you so much, I hope you enjoy! </p><p>The reader is struggling with an eating disorder, and has no idea how to handle her own life anymore. No one knows, until one evening when her body is found on the bathroom floor by one of the guys. She winds up in the hospital and fluff ensues. One shot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm Beautiful With You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [DeansMyApplePie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeansMyApplePie/gifts).



Through your entire life, everyone had made you the butt of their jokes. Calling names like 'pudgy', 'oinker', 'tubbs', and other such horrible names. It had ruined your self esteem. Destroyed it. Even your own mother had boasted such cruelties, always glancing over and scoffing. "Should you really be eating that? Maybe you should try a salad. Lord knows your figure needs some help. How do you expect to attract a man when you don't even try to look presentable? Honestly sweetie, I'd give up eating all together if I were you." Words like this had stuck with you since your preteen years, and though part of you once thought you were just as pretty as everyone else, now all you could do was think about how to hide, feeling like a stranger in your own skin. You always wore baggy sweaters, flowly pants, and though all that was behind you now, the insecurity just never went away. 

Six months ago, you had been the butt of a pretty cruel joke. It was Halloween, and your college mates had invited you to a party. Finally, you were sure they had come around, and decided to give you a chance. You were so excited. Jason, the cutest guy in your class, the same one you had crushed on forever, had finally approached you and invited you to his Halloween bash! It was like your dreams were finally coming true, and the excitement behind your eyes was real for once. You had gone, expecting to have the time of your life, but the truth was not what you expected. Jason had led you away from the party, telling you he wanted to show you something special. You followed without a second thought, only a little put off when he wound up at the abandoned sanatorium. 

"Come on." He said with his winning smile, "I'll be fun. It's Halloween after all. Don't you want to see if it's haunted?" He asked. Your nerves were telling you to go back. No guy was worth it, but then again, this was the first guy to acknowledge you since middle school, so you went against your instinct, and followed anyway. The two of you wandered the halls, inspected the rooms, until suddenly, Jason turned on you, strapping you to one of the walls with a rusty shackle. 

"Jason!? What are you doing!? This isn't funny! Let me down from here!"

"I can't y/n. I'm so sorry, but I have to do this..." He looked scared, pulling the knife from his jacket, and lighting an alter near the wall. Panic surged through you, and you started to cry out. 

"Jason! Jason please! Please don't do this!? What are you going to do to me!?" You started to struggle, but Jason ignored you, speaking some archaic Latin, and suddenly a creature materialized before you. It's face was that of a rabid dog, while it's body was similar to a lion. It looked wicked and snarled in your face, causing you to scream. Jason started to speak in an emotionless tone. 

"It's the only way to break the curse. I had to bring a sacrifice, and I just figured since you were exiled by your family, and you didn't have any friends...no one would really miss you. You know? I have to break the curse." 

"Please don't, Jason, please!"

"Oh y/n, you were so easy to lure. Did you actually think that I was into you? I mean come on hun, you aren't exactly America's Next Top Model." Tears filled your eyes, and you shook your head, praying that some miracle would come and save you from this. The beast moved aside so Jason could step forward, raising the knife, and dragging it along your skin from collarbone to collarbone, letting just a bit of blood drip. You kept up your struggle, and actually managed to break the old chains, crashing to the floor and trying to scramble away, but Jason took you down, and hit you hard across your cheek. You tried everything you could to get away but the beating kept coming, until an unfamiliar voice rang through the room. 

"Hey!" Jason turned his glance to the door, to see a very tall, dark haired, male, holding a shotgun, with a slightly shorter man behind him. The shotgun fired and suddenly Jason was blasted off you. The creature in the room roared loudly, and a second shot was fired, this time by the shorter man with the smaller gun. The blast killed the monster, and the shot had blew Jason back to crash against the table, knocking him out cold. Terror filled you as you backed away from them, begging for your life. 

"P-please! Don't hurt me!" The first man came to your side, while the second moved to destroy the alter. 

"Shh, it's okay, you're gonna be okay. Let me see where he hurt you." Your hands were shaking, but you let the man look, and he looked you over, wiping your tears away and rubbing your shoulder to comfort you. "What is your name?" He asked.

"Y/N..." You answered quietly. 

"My name is Sam, that's my brother Dean." He introduced, gesturing to the other man, before another figure appeared in the room. 

"It's about time Cas, what took so long?" Dean said to the new man. 

"I was held up. What is Y/N's condition? Is she stable?" The angel asked concerned. Sam nodded and looked you over. 

"Yeah...yeah I think she is gonna be okay. Come on, we'll get you cleaned up and you can tell us what happened. Sound okay?" You weren't sure if you should go, but they did just save your life, so you nodded, still very shaken, letting Sam help you up, and leaving with them in their black Impala. 

~~~

That was six months ago. Since then, you proved to be rather helpful to them. They had explained what they did, and how they helped people. You found it fascinating, and offered to help, having no desire to go back to your old life, not that it was much of a life to begin with. You were given a room in the bunker, all to yourself, free to decorate how you wished. Dean had been teaching you defense, how to use a gun, how to fight hand to hand, and all the other skills that could be helpful if you were ever caught in a . bad situation. Castiel was in and out, still not the easiest person to figure out, but he was kind. You were the one teaching him how to be 'normal' by showing him the wonderful world of Netflix, and turning him into a fandom freak. He thought it was incredible, and anymore, Cas was always in front of the television, catching up on whatever series he was in the middle of now, swearing up and down he would watch all that Netflix had to offer. 

Then there was Sam. He had gotten you through the worst of it. He was easy to talk to, and only a few years older, teaching you the quickest ways to dig up lore, and he found it great that you took such a liking to the job. 

Lately, you had been thinking about your past, none of which you had shared with the guys. All the pain, all the names, all the insecurity was getting the best of you as you looked into the full length mirror in the bathroom, and pinched at your sides, legs, arms, cheeks, and stomach. What you were, and what you thought you were, turned out to be two completely different things, not that you believed it. Dean called out from the kitchen, and you dressed quickly in another baggy outfit, entering the dining room for dinner. The three of you ate together while Castiel observed, talking and laughing like always. The moment dinner ended, you excused yourself to the restroom, and once you knew you were alone, you tied your hair back, and knelt in front of the toilet. 

'I have to lose some weight...the diet pills aren't working...the health food, the exercise...none of it...I don't have a choice...I just want to lose a few pounds. Just a few...just this once...' You put your fingers to the back of your throat, and sure enough, you spent the next ten minutes emptying your stomach. You did this for every meal for a week straight, and managed to do so without being caught. You hopped on the scale, and found you had lost an entire ten pounds in that one week. You were ecstatic, and though you knew it was wrong, it felt too good to stop, and no one was wiser to the problem. 

Another week, another ten pounds, and though your body was hating you for this on the inside, the outside was looking better and better to you. On your way to bed, you bumped into Sam, hoping to high Heaven he hadn't just heard. 

"Hey Y/N, what's up? You heading to bed already?" He asked and you shrugged. 

"Yeah, I'm kind of tired. Aren't you?" You asked quietly, tucking your hair behind your ear. 

"Actually I was on my way to your room to see if you wanted to steal the Netflix from Castiel, and watch a movie. If you are tired we can do that some other time though." He said looking to the floor. 

"Oh, well, I mean I could probably sit through a movie first." You agreed, letting Sam lead you to the living room, and sitting on the couch with him. Dean had an armchair, while Cas sat on the floor, and once the movie started, you could feel your heart racing against your chest. Sam's arm was resting on the back of the couch, just behind you. Not around you, but behind you, and that was when it hit you. You didn't want to 'feel prettier' just for you anymore. You wanted to 'be pretty' for Sam. You wanted him to like you as more than just a friend, and you were sure that being a size zero was the way to do it. 

~~~

Another week had passed, and now it was getting harder to hide your habit. You were at a perfectly healthy weight for your height, and there was nothing to alter, but you were so used to the way you did things, that it was now more a habit than anything. You weren't feeling well today, legitimately weak from the lack of nutrients, and lethargic with a severe lack of energy. You had breakfast, alone today because the guys were on a case, and went about your usual routine. By dinner, you made your way to the bathroom, doing your usual deed, but this time, something went wrong. A dizziness consumed you, and you felt the room spin, before you wound up on the floor consumed by a total black out. 

Hours later, Sam and Dean returned to the bunker, victorious from their case, and calling out for you. They searched all over until Sam knocked, and stepped into the bathroom. Terror and shock filled his features, running to your side and scooping you into his arms, calling your name, but you gave no response. "Dean! Dean help! Come here quick! It's Y/N!" Dean came running to the door in a panic, both of them assessing what the bathroom looked like. there were diet pills on the counter, clippings from magazines of women you admired the figures of, as well as the dinner you hadn't managed to flush before your black out. 

"Sammy, how long has she been doing this?" Dean asked, feeling your forehead, and checking your pulse. 

"I...I don't know...how did we miss this? Why didn't we see it?" The guilt filled up Sam's chest, as he picked you up and the boys rushed you to the hospital. It was a long time before you finally stirred, hearing the beeping, noticing the IV in your arm, and realizing you weren't in the bunker anymore. Once your eyes adjusted, you looked around to see Sam leaning on your bedside in a chair resting his eyes. His hand was on your forearm, and you quirked a brow. What happened? You moved a bit and Sam opened his eyes, looking you over as a wave of relief washed over him. 

"Oh thank God, you're awake! I was worried sick!" He said leaning forward to check your forehead for a fever, and taking his seat again. "Y/N...what were you thinking? Why didn't you tell me?" You were quiet for a long while before tears filled your eyes and you looked away. 

"I just wanted to be pretty, like all those other women in the magazines and on TV. I wanted people to notice me, and think I was worth something..." You admitted and Sam grew sad to hear it. He pushed your hair from your face and ran his thumb over your cheek gently. 

"Y/N...no. How could you think you weren't pretty? Those women you see don't even look like that, it's all photoshop...you are beautiful exactly like you are. What made you think you weren't?"

"Everyone Sam...everyone I've ever met made me hate myself inside and out, and I didn't know how else to fit in. I just wanted to lose the weight at first, but then I just kept going and I got carried away."

"You scared me, and Dean too. Y/N, I've always thought you were beautiful. When I busted that door down the night we rescued you, the first thought that crossed my mind was that creep Jason needed a pretty sacrifice, and picked you because you fit the bill. You're still that girl, you're still gorgeous, and I'm still as attracted to you now, as I was then. I just don't want you hurting yourself. Not to impress me, or any other guy, and not even for yourself. It's okay to want to look or feel different, but almost killing yourself isn't the way to get it. We are going to get you through this okay? Together." Sam moved to sit on the edge of the bed, pulling you into his arms, just as Dean stepped in. 

You glanced at him, not letting go of Sam. Dean returned the look, and stepped over to smooth your hair. "He is right you know. We don't mind helping you. I mean Sammy is the one with the high school crush, but I can say that I do think of you as family. I don't want to see this happen again, got me?" You nodded, mumbling an apology, and hiding your face into Sam's shoulder. 

~~~

A month later, you were doing so much better. Finally, Dean had been beaten into submission and all three of you were eating healthy, and regularly. They did monitor you at first, making sure you kept it all down, and once they were sure you were on the right track, you weren't as closely watched. You were back to yourself, your real self, with all the confidence in the world. Just because someone said they disapproved, didn't mean you had to change to suit their idea of you. 

A knock came to your door and Sam stepped in when allowed. You smiled brightly and waved him in, standing before him near the doorway. 

"Hey Sam, what's up?" You asked happily, having just finished all the research for the next case. 

"I was just heading to bed, and I wanted to say goodnight." He smiled and so did you, before hie tucked a strand of hair away from your face, and took a step closer, touching his forehead to yours. He gave it a few moments before cradling your jaw and slowly moving to press his lips to yours. You returned the gesture, sliding your arms over his shoulders to rest on the back of his neck lightly. When it came to an end, you both stared at each other for a moment. "Goodnight Y/N." he muttered quietly. 

"Goodnight Sam." You repeated. He turned to go, but you reached out, taking his hand, and causing him to turn. "Wait...please...don't go. Maybe we could just...lay here and talk for awhile?" you asked quietly. Sam nodded and closed the door, and before you knew it, you were both resting beside each other on your bed. You talked about everything and nothing before he pulled you into his side. 

"I'm glad you are back to being you. I wasn't lying when I said you were beautiful you know. Inside and out." He said to you as you glanced up at him. 

"I am beautiful with you." you replied happily. Sam smiled and kissed your forehead, before nestling in, and tracing invisible lines over your shoulder until you both fell into a sound sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Just an FYI: I have never met anyone with a disorder like this. I do not support bulimia, but I do understand that everyone has their own opinions, thoughts or reasons for their beliefs with a touchy subject like this. And that is okay! I was writing this off of what I've seen on television and movies, and mean no offense to anyone who may read this fic. I support all kinds of disorders, and mean zero harm in writing this. So please, no fighting in the comments, just try and be respectful to each other, and I would really appreciate it. This one was hard for me to get through, not fully educated on the topic, so please don't criticize/judge too harshly on me. I hope you guys enjoyed!


End file.
